Why?

Why do you make my heart beat faster
When you know you’re not worth it?
Why do you escape to my head
And invade my thoughts?

Why do you cut me with that knife
that tenderly trespasses my feelings
so pleasurably, that pain turns into pleasure?

Why do I despise you and love you so much at the same time?
Why do I scorn you and look with disgust at you
and still I want to caress your face, telling you all is going to be fine.
Why did you get into my life, anyway?

I just can’t admit…
It just can’t be…
It’s impossible…
It’s all utopia!

Tell me why,
Yes, you looking at me
why do you do this to me?
It’s driving me to insanity.

Don’t promise me a single thing
Don’t even come closer
I fear you
Stop doing this to me…

New memories appear every day
The speed of thought is like the speed of Light
As soon as you reflect, the moment is gone
It belongs to the past

My memories are back
And so are you
But only a shade is to be seen
Every time I look I see something new

Like a flash, you come and go
Leaving me in the same place
When you’re back time hasn’t passed
Everything we do is to blame

A whim not yet satisfied
Maybe one day who knows
Fantasies grew as we planned
So did our lust

Now I laugh
Yesterday I cried
Something inside me moves
I don’t know what it is neither do I really want to know

Once you walked away
And will do it once again
No more explanations, no more frustrations
We belong to ourselves not to somebody else
Not to each other, not to Heaven or Hell

So, let’s do it once for all
Then walk away without feelings
Without thoughts and dreams that might attach us
But a moment never to forget!

In a distant quiet place, where reason can’t reach
Where only instincts and sensations can prevail
Where emotions can’t see what we’re doing
Where the hands are so close, but so far away at the same time

Before I cry,
This circle will end
Heart, go away!
Conscience, don’t interfere!
And Reason, give me one to pretend I know what I do…

Grey

The city sleeps
and the dizzy lights are exhausted
almost faint and eager to shut down for that day

He walked, in silence, because words had hurt him so much
Sometimes silence was unbearable,
his head was filled with voices, his own
that wouldn’t give him rest

He had no direction; he just wanted to walk
The colourless streets gained life under his feet
His steady pace, encouraged them to grow green
As if Nature was gaining, beating the grey and firm cement

Every time he looked back, he recognized his home
as his steps turned everything so green and familiar
The past was chasing him, and all he wanted was to run away

Where are you going lone walker, what do you seek?
I seek another world out of this colourless one
Look behind, don’t you recognize it?
Yes but I’d rather my eyes were blind
Such perfection confuses my senses

Nowhere was his place
A black hole was not fit enough to be accepted by him
He had the whole world inside him

You, that run away from yourself
Will soon realise there is no such world
The world is inside you and all you see is an elusive
mere representation of your thoughts and beliefs
A sensational outer space that feels real

So, he kept running way from himself…

Just Hide...

Don’t believe a word
Your eyes say
I’m no good
I don’t pray for salvation

I don’t forsake the madness
that evolves my thoughts
Even though you don’t see it,
I embrace it with my body, heart and soul

I’ve sinned in the silence of my thoughts
In his arms I rested my head
Filled with dirty whims and perversion
That he loved so much

Never look for me again, when I walk alone
In the roads that I only know
You won’t find my ways, they’re hidden
And you shouldn’t want to know them…

No, I’m no angel
I don’t bring fortune or smiles
I’m a lone walker that seeks something
It’s not certain now

No, don’t kiss me
I don’t want to poison you
The venom of lust is too unbearable
Almost addictive and ecstasy-like

Don’t trust me
Don’t put your hands in the delicate flames
you grow in your heart
I am not the one you need

It’s hopeless
This desert, this sea, this mountain
No water will feed your thirst
Neither mine…

I’m hungry and I will hunt
Don’t cross my way
I don’t want to be sorry


Just hide from me
Burry your feelings
Don’t split blood when caressing the black rose
Hide from me and pretend I don’t exist!

The bird made of steel

The bird was trying to cross the blue gates
Its steel-made wings were too heavy to fly
No one saw the steel-bird
Crossing the blue waves in the sky

He was blind and couldn’t feel
Neither the rain or the sun
Senseless and blind
He was more dead than alive

The steel cage was protecting its small heart
The blood was rusty
The heart was almost faint
The wings were almost motionless
Still it crossed the skies

He, the one who seeks vengeance
because Nature gave him a colorless eye
and a faint heart filled with rusty tears
already dry

Now it has reached the skies
Together they go to a paradise
that doesn’t exist

Where is bliss?
You left it when you forsake your poor hearts,
someone answered.
Where is my heart?
Your steel-made cage suffocated it to death!

Wandering in the skies
Suicide was near
The aircraft was, naively, passing that time
The crash was silent
The silence so loud

No cry of pain was heard
The bird lost its steel-made wings and flown home
the home he never knew he had
You stood still and tried to cry
But the tears wouldn’t come

Where is bliss?
He asked once again
It’s where you’ve always been
Someone said

Why can’t I see it?
You’re closing your eyes
No, they’re open
Open them to life, someone said

He tried to cry
But his human side was afraid
To break the steel
He wanted to find the bird

Where are you?
Here
Where?
In your heart
Release me…

Quietly and in a sudden
My apparent peace has been interrupted
By a creature I’ve never seen before

It bewilders me how I turned blind
And how I could see clearly what I was doing
At the same time

A wave of excitement caught me
Too big to surf
Too big to resist

You…
Are the one I seek in the streets
The one I barely knew
And that brought me dazzlement

I pretend you mean nothing
I pretend you mean so much
What have you done?
Now I am lost

I kicked the world as if it were a ball
I didn’t care for my actions
The ones I’ve thought with so much detail
Pretending that it was a product of my wild will

Has it ever left unconsciousness?
How much have I desired and repressed it…
Now you seem just someone else with the least importance

You came to defy my values
To make me suffer in silence
Because I deny your existence
And you are just another piece of meat

I almost defied my limits
Do I have any anyway?
Now I realize we are really capable of feeding our deepest whims
We will fall because we’re caught in an animal magnetism

You…
Flawed creature, a giant in the eyes in the others…
Not on mine anymore…
I wish I could discover in your eyes
Something deeper than them

You’ve brought me insanity
I discovered its remains in my blood
Because it keeps going
I like to sit by the river and watch my reflection fade away…

Irresistible creature
Came from hell
The steam around you won’t let me think
Because I see you worth nothing

Now that we’re apart
I know I’m safe
Not yet safe from my thoughts
Because you’re just the point of ignition
Not the fire itself…

Is this the end?

Is this the end?
And the destiny of this mass of water and rocks was being discussed
On a table of unpolished pine wood
Spoiled by the tear drops of heaven and the passing time

The neighborhood star came to look through the window
Dazing two birds to death and burning the seeds before they’re grown
Dryness was installed
 Maybe the delicate sound of water running will refresh and feed our thirst…

We come and we go
Nobody waits, not even time
Nothing is for sure
Not even one’s existence

He said coldly:
 I shall not be here any longer, I’m running to the centre of the universe
Catching wild stars and drinking dark holes
Freedom is the last thing to last in the end of the world

He penetrated my mind as he kept whispering 

His rarefied thoughts shone
He kept discoursing enthusiastically to the walls
But I couldn’t forgive his slashing attack
My heart raced in a volcanic pace

This is the last time to make an action out of a thought
I ran away, as far as I could
And lay down in the floor, looking at nothing
It’s all we know, anyway

He was there, catching stars with his eyes
Waiting to grab them in his bare hands
I watched passionately his moves
It soothed my mind

I want to be sedated
To live in an illusion
Different from this one

He faded away
He was closer than ever to the end of it all
Still I could feel his presence
But I kept walking alone…