Will you send me an angel?

You broke the law
The oath you made is now broken
You’ll be judged

You sold my insanity for who wanted to see
I found myself in some kind of emptiness
There was a place not filled
But I’d never want you here

The thunder came out
I fell on the floor wet by the rain
I found myself desperate
My tears became confused with the rain drops

I looked to the sky
I saw a million stars
The stars so bright give their light
If I can see light miles and miles away
Why can’t I see my own light?
The light closer to me

Once again you told me there wasn’t hope
And I believed
Why can’t I resist in hurt myself?
The dark side is controlling me

Where is my angel now?
Will you send me an angel?

Sometimes the angel, Sometimes the devil

I’m sometimes the angel
So divine
So pure and full of light
Eager to find a proposal to life

The angel that opens its’ wings and starts to fly
So sure that nothing wrong will get it
An angel sent to make sun light reach the eyes

But so much heat burnt its’ wings
The angel has fallen from the skies
And suddenly someone started to cry

I’m sometimes the devil
So wrong and so mad with life
Someone that makes its’ own life a hell
That burns the good

The angel lost its’ wings and can’t fly no more
The dream is so far as the sky
I can’t reach it now
There are no stairways to heaven, only highways to hell

The angel so sad about the lost closed itself into its’ own existence
The devil got mad, the fire reached everything
They all melted in the flames until their existence disappeared

I was the only one left
Abandoned to my mind and heart
Now I have to find my own meaning to life

Sea made of roses

I fell into a sea made of roses
Their perfume drove me into a deep sleep
I lost myself inside a thought
This addicting fragrance that makes me feel so unconscious

But soon I’m going to get hurt on their thorns
And wake up again to real life

Now I want to be here in my thought
Such a wonderful idea

I love this heat
The heat that burns all the bad things
It only leaves the dream and the desire alive

I fell into a sea made of roses
Oh, you still hard to find
The temptation of having you is so hard to fight

Shine your light on me
Forget the rules
This feeling is forbidden
But we’re covered with a sea made off roses

Don’t let the thorns reach us
Be close to me

I’ll try to find you in this sea made of roses
Our fantasie...

Reflex

I was stooped upon the waters
And in a moment that could be like any other
But the willing didn’t allow it
I looked to my reflex on the water

Everything around me had similar reflex
The light and soft undulation of the water didn’t take away their forms
All so identical but me
A reflex distorted reality
My reality

The waters never stopped running
The wind never stopped passing between the leaves
Between all the things undressed of fake and artificiality
As well as the time that never stopped passing

I never became in everything I am
I never wanted to find myself
Many times I stopped to search myself
When I saw the way I hesitated in running away to inside me

In the first time I looked to my reflex upon the waters
I knew that it wasn’t me the person reflected
I watch myself and I don’t know me
I look at me and I don’t want to believe

On my depths remains a light
Waiting to be found
Sometimes the search is hard
But better than don’t search at all

Upon the waters I found my reflex
That brought the darkness to my eyes
I don’t know who I am anymore
But I still confident on the light that overflows from my soul will be enough to die away the darkness from my eyes

The last words spoken

The last words were spoken
The universe closed itself
Its’ existence is extinguished
What used to be so certain is not anymore

Everybody prayed in silence
Never so many voices prayed together
Never was such a moment before

All the flowers stopped flourishing
They don’t want to see what will happen
Anything that is alive wants to believe

In a last goodbyeI walked near the sea
On a place where sand still soft to step on
I said goodbye to the ocean
It took my tears with it

The quiet sound from the waves made me dream
With another universe made off sweet dreams
and never this cruel reality
Though the hurt it gives makes me know I’m alive

The last words spoken weren’t mine
They were from someone that wanted to be alive

I thought
Why not create another universe where we cannot lie to ourselves and truly be alive?

Ambiguities

I’d like to say that Earth is a paradise
People we love won’t die
Youth is eternal and the only tears people shed are of joy

Nothing is eternal, we all are going to die someday
Earth is Earth…

Ambiguities of life
How many to deal with
A battle to just survive
A death to live with

The rose started to bleed
I tasted it and it was sweet
The fuel of life, full of sugar
This was the innocence

Nobody has this sugar flowing thru their veins

Life goes by and by
Sometimes I cry and cry
Contradictions of a contradictory girl
That doesn’t know already how to deal with them

Bad Willing

Many times I questioned the life but never really looked for an answer
Mysterious life, mysterious poison
So powerful that turns into a slight breath got from the smooth breeze that slowly touches my eyes when closed
The firebird ran way when the tears shed for me extinguished it’s heat

The sky was covered with the dark curtains of death and pain
something came, saying me to breathe the death and the suffering that could be felt in the air
Then a strong voice came telling to say goodbye

The tree dyed and it’s leafs fell
In a floor of destruction
All covered by the hell’s heat

No courage to scream
No voice strong enough to yell
Only tears to cry
and a voice to whisper “I hate this damn hell”

The hands nailed to the cross
The body loosing water to the sun
The soul so strong that could leave the body and go far, far away
The heart counting the seconds to the end

Bad feelings
Bad willing
All bad but not so bad as the insanity of the world

Now You're Gone

So much to say
But not many words to describe
Since you’ve gone my willing to live almost disappeared

These mysteries of life
So hard to understand
Took you to the other side

Maybe there it’s better, who knows?
Maybe because of that life shouldn’t be forever
Will we ever be close
To find out the truth about the universe

At least I know that there you won’t feel pain anymore
Maybe I’ll find you one day in Heaven if I deserve

When I felt that your heart was not beating I lost a part of mine
When I saw you where not breathing, the air almost didn’t reach my lungs
Sometimes I just can’t believe it happened

He called you
He took you away from me
I know you’re painless now, maybe better there
But I still need you so much

That day, I wanted to die
I cried until my eyes hurt
I felt somehow empty
And the most scary thing is that I won’t ever see you again, hear your voice again, be with you again

That day darkness filled my eyes and never left
It’s case to say we were born to suffer
Because until now it’s almost all I’ve been experiencing

I’m sad
Sometimes I drown in a sea of tears
Because there is nothing I can do to have you back
So I just can cry for you and remember the good times

I couldn’t save you
It was like a fire inside you burning you slowly and anybody could extinguish it
When you saw the smoke it was too late
It was your body against you

The journey is now over for you
And every day I miss you even more

Goodbye
But never goodbye from my heart
I love you dad, so much

17/07/2009